3 Mindset Techniques for Staying Calm Even When Your Horse Misbehaves

The best horse men and women not only always have control of their horses, but also of themselves. 

They don’t allow emotions or ego to influence how their behaviour with their horses. 

They don’t lose their tempers, but always appear calm, cool and confident even when their horses misbehave or don’t do as they are asked.

If you are struggling with your confidence, then your thoughts and emotions are controlling your feelings and behaviours. 

They are running out of control.  And, that negatively impacts your ability to control your horse. 

Of course, when you don’t feel like you have control of your horse, you feel less confident.

When you are anxious, fearful or even angry, you are focusing on either the past or the future.  The ‘what if’s’ are running the show…

“What if this, that or the other thing happens?” your brain asks. 

And, it has no problem coming up with all sorts of negative scenarios.

It may feel like you can’t control your thoughts and emotions, but you can! 

By practicing these 3 mindset techniques every day, you’ll soon find you can be consistently mentally and physically calm and focused.

Tip 1: Be aware of your thoughts. Your thoughts affect your emotions and your emotions affect your actions and behaviour. 

The place to begin to gain self control is by noticing and changing your thought patterns. 

Several times throughout the day, stop and check in with yourself. 

Notice what you are thinking about. 

How are those thoughts making you feel? 

Are they stressing you out by creating negative emotions? 

If so, stop those thoughts and focus on thoughts that help you feel calm and positive.

Tip 2: Take deep, calm breaths.  Your breathing affects how you feel physically. 

Spend a few minutes using the deep, calm breath technique.  This breathing actually slows down your heart rate, calms your anxious brain and gets your emotions under control. 

If you practice this breathing while you are with your horse, you may notice that he mirrors the rhythm and rate of your breathing.

Tip 3: Look for solutions.  Your brain wants a job and it likes to be creative. 

If you ask it to look for problems, it will happily do so. 

Instead, ask it to focus on finding solutions. 

Ask it questions like:

  • “how can I prevent this or that from happening?”
  • “where can I get help for this or that?”
  • “what do I need to work on to improve this or that?”

When you become aware of your thoughts, practice deep calm breathing, and look for solutions rather than problems, you will notice that you are spending more time in the present moment instead of stressing about what happened in the past or what might happen in the future. 

You will feel more calm and in control of yourself.

You will be able to give your horse what he needs and he will be able to give you what you want.

Your partnership will improve as you develop more trust and confidence in each other.

Want more tips to help you stop feeling anxious so you can feel calm and enjoy riding?

Click here to get your free cheat sheet download “10 Quick and Effective Anti-Anxiety Techniques For Horse Riders”


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There are lots more practical and in depth tips on improving your Confidence and your Partnership with your horse in my book “Confident Rider, Confident Horse: Build Your Confidence While Improving Your Partnership with Your Horse from the Ground to the Saddle”.

Click here to order  your copy today!

You’re welcome to use this article in your blog or newsletter as long as you notify me and give my credit information. ~ Written by Anne Gage of Confident Horsemanship (www.ConfidentHorsemanship.com) 

Anne Gage started Confident Horsemanship in 2002 after suffering the loss of her confidence for riding.  As she worked on regaining her confidence she discovered that many horse women were suffering in silence – thinking they were alone.  

Anne now works with horse women of a certain age to regain the CONFIDENCE and PASSION for riding while building a PARTNERSHIP with their horses that they deserve.

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