by Anne Gage of Confident Horsemanship

If you’ve been struggling with building your confidence and feeling less anxious when handling or riding your horse, you may wonder why it is so difficult. It’s because humans evolved to be fearful. Hard to believe?

It’s true and it even has a name. It’s called the Negativity Bias.

Have you noticed how much easier it is to remember negative experiences than positive ones? That’s because that prehistoric part of our brains called the Amygdala uses about two thirds of its neurons to detect negative experiences and potential threats.

You can thank our prehistoric ancestors for that. Because they lived in a time when threats to their lives were everywhere (hello sabre toothed tiger), they needed that constant vigilance. So, our brains evolved to detect and remember dangerous, and potentially dangerous, events. That means that bad things are stored very quickly and easily in our long term memory. But, positive experiences must be held in our conscious awareness for more than 12 seconds in order to move from our short term to our long term memory. And so we easily recall that 1 negative experience despite having had many positive experiences.

Psychologist, Rick Hansen, (Author of “The Buddha’s Brain: The Practical Neuroscience of Happiness, Love, and Wisdom”) describes it like this –

“The brain is like Velcro for negative experiences but Teflon for positive ones.”

Even if you have more positive experiences than negative ones, unless you consciously focus on those positive ones long enough to move them into our long term memory you will remember the negative experiences more easily. And that affects your ability to build your confidence and feel less anxious around your horse.

It is possible to balance against this negative bias by making positive experiences stickier than negative ones. Here are 5 technique to help you accomplish that.

1. Actively look for the good and positive every day
According to Psychologist, Mihaly Csikszentimihalyi, unless your brain is occupied with other thoughts, it’s default is to worry. This is why, he says, “we must constantly strive to escape such ‘psychic entropy’ by learning to control our consciousness and direct our attention to activities which provide ‘flow’ activities which give positive feedback and strengthen our sense of purpose and achievement.” This means that by consciously and actively looking for the positive things that are around you every day you can keep the worrying to a minimum. Notice when someone smiles at you, a beautiful flower, the scent of fresh hay, the colour of the sky, the softness of your horse’s coat, the warmth of your horse’s breath. Instead of just letting those moments slide by, be mindfully aware of them and allow them to positively affect you.

2. Savor the positive experience
Negative experiences are scored into your mind almost instantly. To retain positive experiences you need to really stay with the experience for at least 10-20 seconds. When something good happens, focus on your emotions and physical sensations to really absorb the experience. Let it be intense. Avoid letting your attention wander to something else. When you’re riding your horse and it’s going well, notice how wonderful and rewarding it feels to have that connection with her. Feel the joy. Explore your senses – what you feel, hear, smell, touch and see. Taking this time to be mindful of the experience – even if it only lasts a short while – helps strengthen the memory so it’s easier for you to recall.

3. Express Gratitude
Writing down good experiences can help keep you in a positive mind set for longer periods of time. Keep a gratitude journal and every day write in it 3 good things that happened in the past 24 hours. When something positive happens celebrate! Recognize the small victories in your life – no matter how small. Did you go to the barn instead of procrastinating or letting something else take priority? That’s a victory. Celebrate and congratulate yourself.

4. Turn Off The News
Ever wonder why there is so much negative news in the media (and that includes social media)? Because negative stories attract a bigger audience … and makes more money for the news industry. Take a break from TV and radio news. Stop opening the Facebook links to the bad news. Find and share stories about good deeds, inspiration and hope. They are out there if you look for them.

5. Make Accurate Conclusions
To keep you safe from harm, your brain would rather have you perceive something as more dangerous than it actually is. Sometimes, that’s a good thing … but, not in every situation.  To counteract this negative distortion, when you feel anxious or upset, take a few minutes to mentally distance yourself from the situation. Do your best to take the emotions out of the situation so that you can be accurate and objective in your interpretation of the event. This technique is particularly useful when you’re future thinking or visualizing a negative outcome of something you have yet to do. If, for example, you’ve been invited to go for a trail ride with a riding friend and you start to feel anxious because you imagine your horse spooking.  Instead, take a few moments to question how true that scenario is and what you can do to prevent it from happening.

Negative experiences always have the ability to over ride positive ones. And so, positive thinking on its own is not enough to build your confidence. But, by using the 5 techniques to apply conscious awareness (mindfulness) you can amplify the positive while diminishing the negative.

Want tips on building your confidence by Winning the Mental Game?  Click here to get your free instant access to the replay of the online video training “3 Actions You Can Take Now to Build Your Confidence with Horses & Riding”!

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There are lots more practical and in depth tips on improving your Confidence and your Partnership with your horse in my book “Confident Rider, Confident Horse: Build Your Confidence While Improving Your Partnership with Your Horse from the Ground to the Saddle”.   Click here to order  your copy today! 

Like this article?  Share it with a friend, send a Tweet or post it on Facebook. Interested in hosting a Confident Horsemanship Clinic at your location?  Click here for information. You’re welcome to use this article in your blog or newsletter as long as you notify me and give my credit information. ~ Written by Anne Gage of Confident Horsemanship (www.ConfidentHorsemanship.com)

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Anne Gage started Confident Horsemanship in 2002 after suffering the loss of her confidence for riding.  As she worked on regaining her confidence she discovered that many other horse women were suffering in silence – thinking they were alone.  Anne works with horse women to help them regain their CONFIDENCE and PASSION for riding while building the PARTNERSHIP with their horses that they want and deserve.

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