What should you do when you (or your horse) become overwhelmed and so tense that you just can't deal with what's going on? Common advice is to stay on and ride through it. I disagree. Because in some situations the best choice - for you and your horse - is to get off.
Overwhelmed and Disappointed Because She Got Off Her Horse
A member of my Confident Horsemanship Community group (I'll call her Shirley – not her real name) recently posted about an experience she had that left her feeling disappointed in herself and feeling like she had gone backwards with her confidence.
In this case, it was Shirley that was overwhelmed and pushed past her threshold of fear. But, it could just have easily have happened to her horse.
Shirley had just gotten on her horse when someone on the neighbouring property started doing target practice with his shotgun. She felt herself getting more and more tense even though her horse was okay with the sounds. So Shirley got off and walked her horse around for a bit. Then took him back to the barn and groomed him.
You Can't Control Everything
While you might not be dealing with the sounds of shotguns going off nearby, you might have other unpredictable events happen while you're riding.
Wind, rain or even the gremlins that hide in that one corner of the arena (yeah, they all have one) can have you or your horse freaking out.
Honestly, things like that are going to happen at times. Just the other day, the horse I was riding was spooked by a bird that had managed to somehow get into the indoor arena – even though all the doors are kept closed.
Really, you can't control all the external circumstances - like a neighbour doing target practice with his gun or a rogue bird in the indoor arena – or how your horse might respond to them.
But what you can do is pay attention to what's going on for you and what's going on for your horse. So that you recognize when one (or both) of you is approaching your fear threshold.
Then you can take steps to avoid being overwhelmed and ending up in your Panic Zone.
Know Which Zone You're In
Most people are familiar with the term “Comfort Zone”. It's (obviously) where we feel comfortable and safe. We can do things easily even without thinking about them. And it's also where we can get a bit bored.
When you're learning or experiencing something new there's a mild level of anxiety or excitement. Just a hint of adrenaline. That's when you're in your Learning Zone.
Even though you feel a bit anxious (or excited), you can still think. You're in control of your own body and you can work through it.
But, once your (or your horse's) anxiety escalates to the point where you can't think, you've cross your fear threshold. You've moved into your Panic Zone.
You're body and mind are prepared for fight or flight. You become so tense that you might be frozen with fear. In your horse's case, he'll react purely by instinct.
The responses are similar for you and your horse.
Once you're in the Panic Zone, you can't easily get rid of the tension in your body. You've passed your fear threshold.
So, you're not doing yourself or your horse any favours by trying to ride through that.
Get Off Your Horse And Calm Down In Your Comfort Zone
You need to get back to your Comfort Zone to be able to de-stress and calm down.
So, what Shirley did was the best thing she could do in that situation. She got off her horse.
When you or your horse are freaking out, it's best to get off and do a little groundwork. Something that you're both comfortable with. And in a place where you both feel comfortable. (Get back to your comfort zone.)
That ground work might be lunging. Or simply leading your horse around while you focus on your breathing.
You can give your mind (and your horse) something else to focus on. Like walking patterns around cones or poles, or practising walk/halt transitions.
Keep it simple and something you both already know how to do well.
It's Your Choice To Get Back On (Or Not)
Once you feel more calm, and only if you feel up to it (and perhaps the neighbour has stopped shooting at the targets), you can get back on your horse.
But, you don't have to. It's your choice.
You could practice having your horse stand still at the mounting block while you put your foot in the stirrup and take it back out.
- Or you could get on and get back off.
- Or you could get on and go for short walk.
- Or you could end on a good note with the ground work.
It's your choice.
You get to decide whether you want to get back on your horse in that same session or call it a day and end on a positive note.
Because there's always tomorrow.
There are no hard and fast rules here except that you want to build up positive experiences for yourself and for your horse.
So when you're in a situation and it's feeling out of your control - whether it's something your horse is doing or something that's going on in the environment around you - it's okay get off your horse.
You have my permission if that's what you need.
It's your butt in the saddle.
You get to decide.
If you're struggling with your confidence, come over and join my Confident Horsemanship Community group on Facebook. You'll find a lot of support there and a lot of people who understand exactly what you're going through. Click here to join the group.
