How To Stop Feeling Scared Riding A New Horse

Starting over with a new horse after you’ve lost your long-time equine partner brings a mixed bag of emotions. It can be a real roller coaster ride.

The grief of losing your previous horse. The joy of finding a new partner. Dealing with unexpected challenges.

You may feel scared, question your riding ability, or wonder if this new horse is right or wrong for you.

It’s not a pleasant place to be mentally and you may be feeling alone while struggling to navigate the situation. You might feel that there is something wrong with you and that you’re letting your horse down.

But, what you are feeling is quite common and not out of the ordinary.

STARTING OVER WITH A NEW HORSE

You and your previous horse knew each other well.

There were no (or very few) surprises. You knew how your horse would react in different situations. You were comfortable with how he moved. And it was as if you had a thought and he responded.

Starting over with a new horse brings a state of uncertainty. 

You need to figure out his “buttons”, his likes and dislikes, get comfortable with how he moves.

He may react very differently to your previous horse in different situations.

So you’re not quite sure what to expect. And that uncertainty creates a level of insecurity or fear.

It takes time to build a new relationship with a different horse. Just as it does when you’re building relationships with new people - a new partner, a new boss, a new teacher.

WHY YOU'RE FEELING SCARED RIDING YOUR NEW HORSE

You are older than you were when you started with your previous horse. It’s natural that, as we age, our awareness of safety increases and our risk tolerance decreases. 

Maybe your got your previous horse before you had children and now you’re a parent. 

Maybe you’re looking after elderly parents or are the sole wage owner in your family. 

You’re more aware now of your vulnerability as you know the impact a serious injury could have on your life as well as the lives of those who rely on you.

You also know that injuries take longer to heal as we age. This can lead to generalised feeling of fear about riding.

In the past, have you had a traumatic riding experience - even if you weren’t physically hurt? A traumatic experience affects your brain resulting in fear that seems illogical or inappropriate.

The uncertainty of starting over with a new horse can trigger this trauma based fear to reappear - even if it wasn’t an issue before.

Resolving this type of fear can take some time. It can be resolved more quickly by working with a mindset specialist.

ASKING FOR HELP WITH YOUR NEW EQUINE PARTNER IS BRAVE

By working with a trusted, experienced coach, you can get an honest assessment of your new partnership.

Do you have the skills to match your horse’s level of training? If not, what is needed to change that?

You and your horse may simply need more time and/or training to develop into an amazing team.

After doing the work, if you feel that you and the horse are not a good match, remember that not every partnership works and it’s okay to make a change if that’s the case.

STOP THE SHAME AND GUILT IF IT DOESN'T WORK OUT

Avoid beating yourself up or feeling guilty if you decide to make a change. There is no shame in realising that you and your horse are not the right partners for each other right now.

There is a downside to continuing to make yourself ride a horse when you feel unsafe and fearful...

The fear often grows. 

You cannot enjoy the ride - or be an effective, compassionate rider - when you're tense, focused on "what-ifs" and avoiding imagined catastrophe. That does not create a healthy partnership or confidence in you or your horse. 

Continuing to push yourself when you're anxious causes some riders to quit altogether. A better option is to consider other options and alternatives. Riding needs to be enjoyable for you and your horse. You BOTH deserve that.

If you're struggling with guilt or shame, get help from a mindset expert and talk it over with empathetic riding friends. 

TAKE TIME AND PUT TOGETHER A PLAN

Building a new partnership takes time and effort. Your horse is adjusting to the changes in his life as well as getting to know you. That adjustment can take many months.  

And you're getting to know and understand your horse, as well. Spend time with him outside of riding. What are his likes and dislikes (e.g. where he likes to be scratched or not; what are his preferred treats).

Take him for walks around his new home paying attention to his interest, curiousity, and stress levels (you don't want to overwhelm him). 

Put the focus on meeting his mental and emotional needs - not just the physical ones - and helping him to feel safe. 

Whatever the outcome about the future of your partnership, it's important that you are at peace with your decision. Take your time. Ask for help. You are not alone.